Tag Archives: DJ

This Irish DJ Decided to Troll 2,000 Ravers!

Here at Kureen we like to honour humorous moments that don’t quite achieve viral status; those captured on film to remain immortal among a diminutive audience, while a prankster setting fire to black people in the hood banks a few million views.

We’re also aware that people are busy, with attention spans on the wane, so in amongst the hard nosed journalism we snatch a leaf from CollegeHumo(u)r’s website and throw in a quickie to keep everyone on their toes – enjoy!

Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.

Premier League Predictions pt.2

Last weekend’s inaugural edition of Premier League Predictions saw Dom Kureen test his psychic powers against former England beach soccer international DJ Rees. It was the sand lurking sharp shooter who prospered, crushing the host’s modest five points with an outstanding three exact results and two other correct outcomes for 11 points of his own. 

The favoured technique for predicting scores this week
The favoured technique for predicting scores this week

This time it’s the turn of a man some say owns the main cottage for cottage cheese distribution, others say he has a tongue made of wax and oat flapjacks – to those who are closest to him he’s ‘Just Mike’.

*All matches: kick off Tuesday, 19.45 unless stated.

Burnley vs Newcastle United

Dom: 0-0
Two sides whose recent winning runs came to an end last weekend. The Toon’s 1-0 reverse at Upton Park was compounded by a slew of suspensions and injuries – their depleted troops might just have enough to repel Danny Ings and co.

Mike: 2-3
With both teams prone to bouts of substandard defending it should be an open game at Turf Moor. Newcastle in particular have a lot of defenders missing, hopefully forcing them onto the front foot to compensate, although in Danny Ings the Clarets have one of the league’s in-form marksmen.

Leicester City vs Liverpool

Dom: 1-3
Glen Johnson’s last gasp winner against Stoke on Saturday dissipated some of the gloom surrounding the Kop. Leicester’s thrilling defeat in a five goal thriller at QPR was the latest in a string of setbacks, with the Foxes in free-fall. Liverpool to click, Leicester to feel sick.

Mike: 0-0
Liverpool’s late winner at the weekend failed to mask the lack of innovative quality currently afflicting the side. The same shortcomings will be highlighted at The King Power Stadium, with Leicester over compensating for the weekend’s goal fest by ‘parking the bus’.

Manchester United vs Stoke City

RVP: Taking more corners so that he can touch the ball more than 11 times in future matches.
RVP: Will he touch the ball more than 11 times tonight?

Dom: 3-1
United are belatedly showing signs of a pulse, with their much maligned back line and the previously out of form Robin Van Persie impressing during a 4-0 blitz against Hull City at the weekend. Stoke are solid and with Bojan beginning to adapt – the Potters seem set for their standard mid-table finish despite defeat here.

Mike: 2-0
It’s probably too late for Manchester United to mount a serious tilt at the Premier League title, but with their collective fire power Old Trafford should welcome back Champions League action next season. Their resurgent form should be enough to see off stubborn Stoke.

Swansea vs Queens Park Rangers

Dom: 2-1
The Swans have been frustrating in recent weeks, their aesthetically gratifying build up play too often lacking a clinical touch in the final third. The Hoops are in a rich vein of form and with Charlie Austin on fire they’ll run their hosts close.

Mike: 3-1
Swansea’s Liberty Stadium points haul is the main reason why they currently sit pretty in the table. A disappointing 1-1 draw at home against Crystal Palace should be remedied by a comfortable victory against Harry Redknapp’s relegation battlers, although Bobby Zamora and Charlie Austin could prove to be a handful.

Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa
Tuesday, 20.00.

Dom: 1-1
Two teams struggling to rise above the league’s nadir, Palace do at least attempt to do more than simply stifle their opponents (Villa’s trademark under Paul Lambert). Expect this to be last on Wednesday’s Match of The Day running order.

Mike: 2-1
This has lack of quality written all over it, although the return of Christian Benteke will afford Aston Villa supporters some cheer during the festive season. Under Neil Warnock Palace have turned Selhurst Park into a difficult arena for visiting teams, that coupled with Villa’s lack of imagination should ensure that the Eagles take the spoils.

West Bromwich Albion vs West Ham United
Tuesday, 20.00

Dom: 2-1
West Brom’s promising start is in danger of going to waste if their current poor run continues. With Saido Berahino in razor sharp form and Andy Carroll yet to open his seasonal account, the Baggies might just squeak by here.

Mike: 1-2
West Ham have reinvented themselves this season, with an eye-catching counter-attacking style to their play. Since the return of Andy Carroll from injury they’ve admittedly resorted to a more direct approach, but with West Brom unable to muster shots on goal at the moment it’s hard to see them avoiding defeat in front of their patient fans.

Arsenal vs Southampton
Wednesday, 19.45

"Fifa 15 had us both fit for three matches in a row.... fake!"
“Fifa 15 had us both fit for three matches in a row…. fake!”

Dom: 2-0
The Gunners have one of the softest centres among Europe’s elite clubs, lacking leadership and a robust element to their spine. A 3-0 thumping at the hands of Manchester City brought high-flying Saints down to earth at the weekend, expect more of the same at the Emirates.

Mike: 4-4
Two teams slowly finding their place in the league come head to head in North London, with Southampton keen to prove they’ve got the staying power to mount a Champions League charge. Expect goals, cards and controversy during a highly charged contest.

Chelsea vs Tottenham Hotspur
Wednesday, 19.45

Dom: 2-1
A pair of clubs with different lofty aspirations; Chelsea will view anything less than the 2014-15 Premier League crown as anticlimactic, while Spurs know that a top four finish is well within their grasp in this most unpredictable of seasons. The latter’s fragile defence is likely to be exposed at Stamford Bridge, although it will be far from one way traffic.

Mike: 3-0
Jose Mourinho has built a squad with the quality and depth to challenge on all fronts. Tottenham did well to snatch a couple of 2-1 wins against the run of play last month, but will struggle in south London, with Chelsea running out comfortable winners on the night.

Everton vs Hull City
Wednesday, 19.45

Dom: 3-1
Everton gave a decent account of themselves during their 2-1 loss at White Hart Lane on Sunday, and although some of their big hitters are yet to come to the party they should win with something to spare against a Tigers side of diminishing potency and increasing predictability.

Mike: 1-2
Hull started the season with vigour and belief, something that has since been quashed by a combination of half-hearted forward players and unfortunate decisions. Everton remain unconvincing, struggling to juggle Europa League and domestic football, for that reason I’m backing Steve Bruce to return to the Yorkshire with three much needed points.

Sunderland vs Manchester City
Wednesday, 19.45

Aguero - a perfect strike partner for Aguero.
Aguero – a perfect strike partner for Aguero.

Dom: 1-1
The Mackems are a strange bunch, reserving their better performances for elite opposition; evident as they clung on for a goalless draw against Chelsea in their previous match. Man City’s man of the moment, Sergio Aguero, followed his Champions League hat-trick against Bayern with a trio of assists at Southampton, and although he’ll probably net again it will only be enough for a point.

Mike: 2-2
Sunderland will fancy their chances against a City side whose first choice central defensive pair, Vincent Kompany and Eliaquim Mangala, are absent, possibly forcing full-back Bacary Sagna to shift into the middle. A 2-2 draw in this fixture was the catalyst for the Black Cats’ great escape last spring, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a repeat of that scoreline here.

So, do you think we nailed it this time? Can anyone overhaul DJ Rees’ 11 point haul? Let us know your thoughts.

Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.

Premier League Predictions

In the first round of Premier League predictions, Dom Kureen takes on Tottenham Hotspur fan and former beach soccer star DJ Rees – three points are awarded for an exact result and one point for predicting the correct outcome (all matches kick off Saturday at 3pm unless stated.)

Bet the house: Who will come out on top this week?

West Bromwich Albion vs Arsenal
Saturday, 12.45pm.

Dom: 1 – 2
Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has received a fan backlash since his troops lost 2-1 to a Manchester United side who only managed a single shot on target last weekend. The pressure will be temporarily alleviated with a narrow victory at the Hawthorns against a frustratingly inconsistent Baggies team.

DJ: 0-1
Early season, early concern for Arsenal, who were unfortunate to suffer defeat against Manchester United last weekend. West Brom too often fail to capitalise on the opportunities they create, having netted just once in their previous three fixtures. Expect Arsenal fans to be kissing Wenger’s feet again by the start of 2015.

Burnley vs Aston Villa

Villa are backed for a narrow away win
Villa are backed for a narrow away win

Dom: 0-1
Two wins on the spin have propelled Burnley from the foot of the table, with Danny Ings in particular catching the eye. Fellow basement dwellers Aston Villa have also improved recently, with two successive stalemates ending a six match losing streak, expect the Midland side’s upward surge to continue at Turf Moor.

DJ: 1-2
Villa secured a hard fought point against Southampton on Monday night and I expect them to prosper at the expense of a Burnley team who have won their previous two matches despite spending the majority of those 180+ minutes on the back foot.

Liverpool vs Stoke City

Dom: 2-1
The Reds are one of a clutch of ‘big’ teams to have made an underwhelming start to the campaign, but a decent result in Europe during mid-week should boost the confidence of fans and players, ensuring they hold on for a nervy three points after battling Stoke grab a 70th minute Victor Moses goal to keep Anfield on tenterhooks.

DJ: 1-0
Liverpool continued their poor form post-Suarez last weekend with a miserable 3-1 defeat at Crystal Palace. To make matters worse for Brendan Rodgers and co, Stoke City are a team who give no merit to reputation, having already taken three points at Man City and Spurs. I’ll take the struggling Scousers to gain temporary respite with a nervy 1-0 win.

Manchester United vs Hull City

Dom: 4-2
Two unpredictable teams face off at Old Trafford, with Manchester United keen to build on last weekend’s Emirates Stadium success. An irresistible attack and world class goalkeeper are undermined by the Red Devils’ woeful back-line. Hatem Ben-Arfa should prosper against this rabble, but United will have too much for Hull in the offensive third.

DJ: 3-1
United’s smash and grab victory last weekend papered over the cracks; exceptional offensive prowess is undermined by a patched up defensive line that regularly owe debts of gratitude to the outstanding David De Gea. Hull impressed in defeat against Spurs, but were undone by the daft dismissal of Gaston Ramirez – they’ll struggle to contain Rooney, Di Maria et al.

Queens Park Rangers vs Leicester City

Harry: Insistence that Joe Cole and Jermain Defoe play every England match irked the FA.
Harry: Plans to sign Jermain Defoe for a 47th time in January.

Dom: 2-0
A 6-pointer already? Early season optimism has evaporated at the (horribly named) King Power Stadium and big money signing Leonardo Ulloa is suffering a Sahara level goal drought. Conversely, fellow Premier League newbies QPR look increasingly at home among the elite – Charlie Austin and Bobby Zamora will enjoy facing the Foxes’ sluggish defence.

DJ: 1-1
Two newly promoted sides meet at Loftus Road, having enjoyed very different starts to the campaign. The Foxes got off to a flyer, but have lost their way and Rangers have almost done the opposite. They will probably cancel each other out on the day.

Swansea vs Crystal Palace

Dom: 3-1
Both teams performed well last weekend, but it was Palace with the meatier scalp, having dispatched Liverpool 3-1 at Selhurst Park. The Swans glide through games at home and they shouldn’t have too much trouble continuing that trend on Saturday.

DJ: 2-1
Swansea were labelled as one of the pre-season relegation favourites, only to approach the end of November within touching distance of the top four. Engineering the return of Gylfi Sigurdsson was a transfer master stroke. Palace are the definition of inconsistency, but rarely boring. On this occasion they’ll leave Wales empty handed.

West Ham United vs Newcastle United

Dom: 2-2
Mid-table on paper, both clubs are punching above their weight thus far. Newcastle have won six in a row to ease the early season pressure on boss Alan Pardew. Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan will look forward to facing their former employers – I envision the giant Geordie denying his boyhood favourites the points with his first goals of the season.

DJ: 2-2
Pardew was odds-on to win the sack race just over a month ago, with his side at the foot of the table – it seems infeasible that they now sit in fifth. Diafra Sakho has been a revelation for the Hammers. I can see a goal-fest with a contentious penalty decision supplying the main post-match talking point.

Sunderland vs Chelsea
Saturday, 5.30pm.

Fabregas: Not impressed with the new Chelsea away kit
Fabregas: Not impressed with the new Chelsea away kit

Dom: 1-2
The Mackems are difficult to figure out, with an uninspiring group punctuated by a couple of exciting performers such as Adam Johnson. They’ll dig in, ultimately coming unstuck against the champions elect, with Diego Costa, Eden Hazard and co having the ancient Wes Brown and John O’Shea on toast.

DJ: 0-3
The last time these two sides met Sunderland ended Jose Mourinho’s 77-match unbeaten record at Stamford Bridge. This time the Black Cats have a chance to end Chelsea’s unbeaten start to the season. That won’t happen, with Costa, Hazard and Cesc Fabregas dominating proceedings.

Southampton vs Manchester City
Sunday, 1.30pm

Dom: 1-3
Second meets third in this top of the table clash, Saints having been a revelation so far this term. They’ll finally come unstuck against a City side basking in the glow of Tuesday night’s 3-2 Champions League victory over Bayern Munich, where the white hot Sergio Aguero netted a sublime hat-trick.

DJ: 2-3
Players sold, manager replaced; who would have thought that Southampton would have started the season so well? With the best defensive record in the league who would bet against their run continuing?… Actually I would! City seem to have their mojo back and will win an entertaining encounter by the odd goal in five.

Tottenham Hotspur vs Everton
Sunday, 4pm.

Dom: 1-1
Both Spurs and Everton qualified for the last 32 of the Europa League on Thursday, with plenty of squad players given the chance to shine. The Premier League has been a bit of a damp squib by comparison, with neither team able to sustain any reasonable form. The Toffees are usually chewed up by the 75th minute and that’s about when Spurs wake up. 1-1 with Erik Dier levelling late on.

DJ: 2-1
Tottenham have only won one home game in the league all season (4-0 vs QPR) and often look nervous in front of their own supporters. Everton were the surprise package of 2013-14, but have been patchy so far this time round. Spurs will turn a corner here, with Lukaku grabbing a late consolation for the visitors.

What do you think of our predictions? Check in again after the matches to see if it’s Dom or DJ who wins this round.

Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.