Tag Archives: Prince

Review: Lairy Tales and Crappy Ever Afters

Baps; we all admire them and we’re liars if we claim otherwise. Whether of the savoury or fleshy variety, there’s a diversity of shape and flavour fit to tantalise even the most discerning of palates.

Unruly Baps

The Ventnor Fringe festival gave curtain call to its final venue of 2016 with a show of rich imagination and tireless expression, courtesy of Lady Baps (Sarah Palette) and Unruly Scrumptious (Eljai Morais), collectively known as Unruly Baps.

A full throttle spectacle divided into seven segments, each containing frenzied farce, with the majority pulling in members of an appreciative audience (although nobody sat in the front row, perhaps wary of becoming part of the show.)

During the opening monologue Unruly Baps described what was set to unfold as “several tales told by two idiots”, as the duo bickered and adorned their bonces with the first of a throng of wigs utilised throughout the evening.

Unruly Baps

The inaugural fairy tale spoofed was Cinderella, which involved Unruly Scrumptious modernising the tale through an extensive and absorbing poem in an impressively legit northern twang.

This scene also gave Lady Baps an opportunity to exhibit her penchant for physical comedy; carrying the action element of the piece with relish, her facial expressions and change of tone brought life to the Cinderella story, with a final twist in the tale for good measure.

Keeping the pace brisk, a “feminist five minutes” called for a volunteer from the audience, but with nobody forthcoming, a man named ‘Liam’ was plucked from one of the back rows (he must have thought he’d be safe in the cheap seats!) He instantly got into the spirit of things with some sharp rebuttals as the ladies had their way with him… So to speak.

These brief fragments between the main action were an effective tool in ensuring proceedings flowed without the threat of a lull or crowd burnout.

More swift changeovers came into play before “Three fairy tales in an unspecified amount of time”, where Scrumptious played needy fall guy to her savvier sidekick, at one point being repeatedly sprayed in the face with water.

Additional volunteers were chosen, some more eager than others, as the regular breaking of the fourth wall guaranteed that patrons felt as if they could become part of the show at any given time. The fairy tales concluded with cackling laughter from the two ladies, who stared into space behind the audience with the sort of maniacal expressions usually reserved for American Idol contestants –¬†it was reassuringly absurd in the most delectable way.

Unruly Baps

With the bar raised so high by these opening exchanges, the next couple of chapters fell a little flatter.

A tribute segway was short and sweet, but didn’t add an awful lot to the production, save for a few audio clips of David Bowie, Prince et al. A black and white silent movie of Rumpelstiltskin¬†followed – a fantastic idea in theory as a deviation within a live show, but it was a tad too lengthy and one paced to be considered unblemished in execution.

Happily the denouement offered a hilarious rendering of Little Red Riding Hood, where the Grandmother was revealed as a slutty former squeeze of the wolf. It brought the house down and received a much deserved standing ovation to close the show.

Both performers exhibited an exquisite range of acting dexterity throughout the evening, with the unscripted aura a testament to not only their ability as actors, but also the skill to keep an audience captivated at the end of a long week at the fringe. This was a worthy headliner.

In short

A superb show, performed and written by two very talented women. A couple of scenes dipped when held against the lofty standard that book ended the night, but on the whole it was memorable for all the right reasons.


To find out more about the show and Unruly Baps in general click the links below!

Unruly Baps
Lady Baps
Unruly Scrumptious

Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.

The curse of Prince William

Are England cursed when it comes to football at major tournaments, or is it simply a case of the reverse Midas touch from Prince William? Dom Kureen ponders.

Having witnessed their male counterparts struggle to impose themselves at every tournament of note since 1998, England’s women headed to Canada for the 2015 World Cup with limited expectations.

Many weren’t convinced that Mark Sampson’s team could even progress beyond the group stages, with a 2-0 opening game defeat at the hands of France adding credibility to that argument.

Turning Point

From there it became an adventure; 2-1 victories against Norway, Canada and Mexico, including a 25 yard strike from the brilliant Lucy Bronze, providing highlights during a glittering run which saw the Lionesses reach the Semi-Final stage, where they faced current holders Japan.

Despite playing their best match of the tournament, England were this time on the wrong end of a by now familiar 2-1 scoreline, courtesy of two debatable penalties and an unfortunate 92nd minute own goal from the outstanding Laura Bassett, who had marshalled England’s defence superbly throughout the contest.

Big Willy Style

The defeat came on the same day that Prince William decided to stick his pointy beak into matters that don’t concern him, overloading the squad’s head with blatant fibs about them having united the entire country (a ridiculous claim that can’t have been taken seriously by anyone with half a brain), who were all staying up to watch the matches (usually kicking off at around 12.30am.)

Just over a month earlier Mr charisma vacuum had cast his poison onto another team’s dreams of glory. “Wills” gloated about being a die-hard Aston Villa fan, providing a pep talk with his extensive knowledge of the game a day before their FA Cup final appearance in May. The result? Arsenal massacred them 4-0.

Prince William
Madame Tussauds were running out of poses for their dummies

The Duke of Cambridge may seem perfectly noble in these gestures of good will, but to see an entitled drip scurrying to become the self anointed (monotone) voice of the nation’s throng of sports fans is little short of ridiculous, serving as an unwelcome distraction to events, particularly that Wembley final where the infatuated TV production team insisted on panning to the guy every couple of minutes.

Stick to guarding the palace…

All I ask of the future king this summer is that he steer clear of Andy Murray matches at Wimbledon, avoids any Ashes cricket this summer and gives the athletics World Championships a wide berth… Although he’s still more than welcome to pledge his full, unequivocal allegiance to Aston Villa FC, specifically moments before their encounters with Newcastle United.

I am able to form enough incoherent, scrambled sentences myself without some follically challenged nitwit with an alluringly punchable face acting as spokesperson for me, as he attempts to piggy back on anything approaching British sporting success. At least David Cameron waits until after they’ve failed before extending empty hearted commiserations.

If either of those men breathed in the general vicinity of a cacti it would wither and die.

Final Plea

Infect the media by all means with your droning, rehearsed rhetoric; anyone not entirely devoid of wit can flip a channel or throw a Doc Martin boot through a screen rather than stare for days at footage of a door to ascertain whether you named your kid George, William or Henry.

Just leave sport, art and anything else not related to your royal remit out of the PR circus.

Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.