Wrestlemania XXXI: A showcase for new stars

Yes, we all know that professional wrestling is largely scripted, with the outcomes planned in advance of the contests, but if any event is capable of momentarily suspending the disbelief of grap fans it’s Wrestlemania; here’s what Dom Kureen expects to see when the “showcase of the immortals” concludes later tonight.

Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (Tag-Team Champions) vs The New Day vs Los Matadores vs The Usos

Kidd and Cesaro really deserve better than the pre-show treatment, but hey, what can you do? This is clearly between the Usos and the champs, as the other two teams are simply jobbers eating up space. Expect a few entertaining spots and well executed combinations, with Naomi and Natalya ultimately playing a role in the outcome.

Winners: Kidd & Cesaro by pinfall

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

A few short weeks ago Stephanie McMahon was on Raw promoting this battle royal as the most important thing since Hogan/Andre at WrestleMania III. So much for that; it’s now on the pre-show. NXT’s Hideo Itami has been added to the match after winning a tournament at Axxess this weekend. Looking at the participants, it is difficult to see beyond RoidbackAhem… Ryback for the win

Winner: Ryback

Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins

This could easily be one of the most entertaining matches of the night considering the calibre of the two combatants. It will be filled with multiple near-falls, and a myriad of stooges will undoubtedly assist Rollins on his way to victory – although “The Viper” will probably have the last word with a post-match beat-down of the former shield front man.

WinnerSeth Rollins

AJ Lee & Paige vs the Bella twins

AJ and Paige have become the best of “fren-emies” over the past few weeks, contesting choice matches considering the short time they’ve been allocated. Internal dissension is hinted at as the downfall for Paige and Lee, but it would make more sense for Brie Bella to turn on her sister Nikki, who famously stated earlier this year: “I wish you’d died in the womb!”

Winners: AJ and Paige by pinfall

(Intercontinental Champion) vs  vs  vs  vs  vs  vs 

This has Match of the Night written all over it. With ring maestros such as Ziggler, Bryan, and Ambrose involved. The only true contenders, in my opinion, are Ziggler, Ambrose, and Bryan. Irish heavyweight Sheamus is apparently written into the show, so he could also play a role at some stage. Ultimately this seems like the ideal time to elevate Dean Ambrose with his second, and most prestigious, championship of his WWE career.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

The Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt

Undertaker hasn’t stepped into a WWE ring since his shock loss to Brock Lesnar at ‘Mania last year. Indeed it’s youngster Wyatt’s sterling promos that have built this program. ‘Taker is starting to look every one of his 50 or so years, and then some, so this could conceivably be his swansong – he’ll go out with a win, making Wyatt look competitive in the process.

Winner: Undertaker by pinfall

Sting vs Triple H

Sting looks in fantastic physical shape, despite his advanced years, it’s a shame that he didn’t arrive in WWE earlier in his career, but it’s still a sight to see the legend finally making his debut of the biggest stage. Triple H doesn’t really win at WrestleMania anymore and is more concerned with putting over other talent and building storylines. A victory for Stinger will open up a host of possibilities for future contests, although a dream match with Undertaker seems unlikely.

Winner: Sting

John Cena vs Rusev (US Champion)

Rusev and Cena have absolutely battered each other in recent weeks, although the cheap ‘foreigner’ heat is embarrassingly dated, and anyone chanting “U-S-A” in response to it should be kicked up the arse with a pair of steel toe-capped Doc Martens. Cena, the company’s golden boy, will come out on top here, handing the Russian his first defeat.

Winner: John Cena by submission

Brock Lesnar (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Roman Reigns

The outcome of this one wasn’t really in question a few weeks ago when it seemed like Lesnar was going to walk away after WrestleMania. With the former UFC champion having signed a multi-year deal the horizon has changed. Still, WWE will go with their original plan to crown Reigns as the new face of the company, albeit via a heel turn where he and Lesnar’s “advocate” Paul Heyman jump ship to join the Authority, for whom Seth Rollins ends up assisting his former Shield colleague – You read it here first!

Winner: Roman Reigns thanks to interference.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments section below!



Written by Dom Kureen

As a young rapscallion stranded on an Island, my time is split between writing, performing spoken word, wrestling alligators and delivering uplifting pep talks to hairdressers before they prune me. I meditate and wash daily when possible.

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